I find myself on a shockingly similar trajectory, just a couple years behind - even down to the cherry-on-top breakup. I reckon I’m going thru the five stages of grief, trying to make it to acceptance. I used that as a framing to blog about it, too.
More than the billions fiirst migrating and then dying as we erect walls to keep them out and the death of the natural world, it’s the sheer irrational insanity of people’s non-response that gets to me. I did recently make some progress on that mindblowing exasperation, tho: as psychology is one of my interests, I’m fairly familiar with the mechanisms that lead to this reaction. As such, I could ask myself: what was I expecting? It’s predictable. Sketch me a scene between a type of person and I can predict exactly why and how they won’t react rationally and with courage. So why be so aggrevated, I tell myself. I mean, apart from the sheer incoming horror of a hellscape.
I do have two advices:
1) Be careful not to catasthrophise, ie. pessimistically believe the worst outcome on the probability curve is going to happen. We and our children may get to hang on for quite a few decades yet, and things may well collapse slower than your guesses.
2) One should apply the same attitude as anyone ever should: be grateful for what one has. You rode the peak of human civilasation, enjoying blissfully ignorant and peaceful years up until about 2016, and continue to enjoy many things kings of yesteryear could only dream of.
Everyone knows life will end. Does it really matter how? Think of the billions of dead serfs and slaves and peasants and pestilence sufferes and children who didn’t even make it till age 5, young couples and draemers whose lives were cut short by brutal circumstances. If you can’t live for yourself, live for them. Live for those who couldn’t, those who would have given both arms to have your life. Live for your children. I try to ask myself: who am I being, that my children’s eyes aren’t shining? (Benjamin Zander quote)
“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus.” - Charles Bukowski
Writing is therapeutic. Glad to see you back, despite the heavy topic. Best wishes.
I don't normally do this but, “We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.”
We're pretty similar. I managed to avoid the divorce, but she still doesn't like to talk about the state of the world. I've mostly made it to the acceptance stage, but I occasionally bounce back into depression. I basically never go back to denial and anger anymore. Nothing really surprises me now.
I would still like to prepare for... what, exactly? When I think about what "sustainability" actually means, I keep coming back to the thought that the last time that humans were truly sustainable was during the couple hundred thousand years of hunting and gathering. I would certainly love to be in that situation now, but it's not like I can just go out and live that way for reasons we all understand. But, I figure it's the only way humanity will be able to live in centuries to come, so... is that what I should prepare for? The transition into that? That's all that I can figure.
So, to continue to stave off divorce and the inevitable custody loss, I've been limiting my "prepping" to just collecting books. Indigenous wisdom books, anthropology books on ancient (and current non-modern) peoples, and lots of basic how-to books that cover what folks did to survive before electricity and global supply chains. My wife values education, so acquiring books is always justifiable.
What if you also added prepping people to the menu. I don't mean info-dumping all the knowledge you've acquired, but by building them up, strengthening them, finding ways to bond tighter, getting them out of their shell and out into nature.
We have to build a house that is strong, out of good materials that will last for generations.
I think building a tribe is necessary and extremely important. Definitely on the to-do list. Although, I think I would probably avoid the wording of "adding people to the menu." 😂
I'm pretty much in the same situation. My wife only wants to hear occasional news and tolerates my storing up nonperishable food and necessary hardcopy books. I've long accepted (about 25 years now) that unless something drastic happens, Humanity is going to slide way back on the civilizational scale, maybe to extinction. I do what I can, but it feels like a drop in the ocean. That's one reason I've been talking to a therapist (I've had treatment resistant depression walk my life).
Thanks Alan, it is comforting knowing there are others who feel the weight of this knowledge and also understand it can be harmful to continue to consume more information about it (once you truly understand, you k.n.o.w.).
I went through my separation in 2017 as I was becoming anti-capitalist and abolitionist. I became collapse aware the first year of the pandemic, I spent most of it reading. Amongst the wreckage I've found peace minimizing my life as much as possible (my favourite pastime is Swedish Death Cleaning, lol), and immense satisfaction in simplicity. A couple of my friends and I often talk about an off-grid feminist commune (I'd go today, but others are less prepared to leave their current lives quite yet).
“There’s nothing we can do, so why even talk about it?”
This is a big reason why I write about it. It's such a difficult thing to talk about, but there are many like us who wish we could. I think creating an online space helps. It certainly has helped me.
I could tell an almost identical story. I think i've reached the acceptance stage though, and whatever happens happens. The only thing we can really control is how we look after ourselves and those that we love. Any further connections and planning for resilience you can make beyond that are a bonus that will pay off to some degree no matter what happens. Keep writing about it. It's meaningful to bear witness.
I'm guessing that there is another step beyond "acceptance " ... as folk wisdom has it with phrases like "that's water under the bridge ". I haven't hit that stage yet though, and I am quite a bit older, and developed some awareness of the state of the earth and the trends you comment on, starting just a bit earlier ...
Around 1999 when I was flying around the united states doing computer work around the Y2K "issue", that wasn't really a big issue (except for protecting profits of large corporations).
That's when I realized how utterly useless most executives would be in a real crisis, and that most governments would be as bad or worse.
So what we can do now is bear witness and preserve what knowledge we can.
I think that will have to be in physical books, not internet only texts. I expect most of the net will be inaccessible to commoners like me rather soon... censored or paywalled or both. I am thinking that Print on Demand books might be a way to record these times, while widespread literacy in written English still exists as a common language. It's probably important to the younger generations to have something to put some context to the harsh world they will inherit.
I'm in the same space, and although the article didn't bring us together in a meaningful sense, I felt less alone reading it.
Of the little time I have each week for changing the world, I try to strengthen my existent bonds, I try to expand my Dunbar number. I try to push change with people who can make it. It's a strange time that we are entering, we have to take as much love and compassion for people with us as we go.
Grateful to have you back. I've been following your work for some time and wondered why you stopped writing. Now we all have a better idea. You speak for many of us.
Thank you. This is a wonderful piece that shares the despair and angst many of us have lived quietly with for decades. Fifty years ago as a graduate student in Forestry and Environmental Studies, I heard my first lecture on greenhouse gases and climate change. My fellow grad students and I realized after that lecture that the handwriting was on the wall (in indelible ink).
What have I learned in the years since? First: We have choices. We can choose to give in, give up or give it all we’ve got. Second: The current polycrisis is not a problem any of us can individually or collectively control or solve. We are in a predicament that requires an alternate path. Third: Technology innovation adds complexity to an already overburdened Global Operating System. Added complexity hastens collapse. My preference is to stop buying into the narrative that modernity can be salvaged and instead to return to a much simpler “small is beautiful” solution. Don’t think of undersea, deep terrestrial, or off-planet settlements powered by nuclear reactors. Think instead of Sturbridge Village, Massachusetts in the early 1800s, with a few minor tweaks in basic operating principles, borne out by the experiences of the last 200 years. Fourth: And by all means, realize that humility and compassion are not weak human traits. In fact, they just might be our most valuable asset if we choose to “give it all we’ve got.”
Thank you for your honest words. As a writer, I fully understand how the overload can become too much. We sink so deeply into the meaning of every word we connect together. It's a big reason why I've chosen a reflective writing style, too. Writing about the state of the world is taxing. Often the reader doesn't recognise how profoundly we have felt each letter.
I've come from a different place to you but reached a similar unconsoloble confusion about people's indifference. My cathartic moment was a climate-driven wildfire that swept through my community, destroying our homes and farms; everything we had and everything we were. The shock of that reality was bone deep. It took me a number of years to pull out from it. I wrote about the process (before I had Substack). After the initial sympathy from readers (which I never sought nor wanted) there was deafening silence. No-one wanted the change, anything.
So, I stepped away from writing for awhile, and focused on what I could do in the actual world. What I could change. What was possible where I was and with who was around me. We thought about moving somewhere even more isolated, but came to belief we have to prepare in place. We know this space, it's seasons, and it's threats. That's empowerment. That log cabin we all dream of (especially introverted writers) is too isolated, unless you are already there and know it well. Survival is not a solo game. You need a network of people willing to share knowledge and resource. Doing everything alone is a tough, tough life.
My husband I are already 100% offgrid. I already grow the lion share of our household fruit and vegetable needs, and I am stretching into grains. We make do and mend as par for the course. My husband has deep mechanical know-how. But we both know, even with those assets, we can not tough out the future alone. So, we are building the community we need, in place, across neighbouring farms, recognising the skill-set in each and the gaps we have to fill. Sharing, sharing, and more sharing.
Yet, I am often struck by how difficult our project is over the distance between us (my nearest neighbour us 8km/5 miles) away, and how much easier it would be to do the same in a 'suburban' setting, where the skill density is so much greater and the distance between everyone can be walked, with ease.
So now, my message in my writing, for what it's worth, is for people to look to where they are and see if there are possibilities they haven't thought of before. To build their buffer in place, with the people already there. They don't even need to mention collapse to people ... 'community building' is often enough of an explanation to get people on board.
The kids alive now will need their adults to be skilled and wise.
Thank you for this wise and guidance filled comment, Margi…
I am very collapse aware, my husband is aware that I’m collapse aware, ha! He is onboard with supporting my perspective, but won’t lead us through this.
We have two young children and are considering how/where we want to weather the changes, the ‘simplification’ to come… the urge to run, to prep… it’s huge!
But your perspective here fills me with a sense of confidence that we have landed exactly where we need to be. Suburban. Half acre plot of land. Wonderful potential for rich community… I mostly just worry about access to water.
Anyway. Just responding to say thank you to you and all the other writers’ energy and time spent being reflective so that those who wish to can feel some sensible leadership and direction through what is to come.
I am glad it helps, Tessa. I am always relieved to hear someone sees the potential in where they are. You've made my day.
There are tonnes of ways to collect and store water, and you're roof is your friend. Across a suburban setting the potential is huge. The 'authorities' will want to limit you with all sorts of scare mongering about contamination. The fear is just another way to keep you connected to the grid and paying for your viral needs. There are ways around it, and its all online. Just remember, people have been living for hundreds of thousands of years on collected water, and they've been reusing that water to grow food for just as long.
I think connecting on these issues, being guided by those a few steps, or a bit of a hike ahead, is what we all need.
Looking into the roof and a rain water tank is on the list…. I worry if there will even be enough rainfall in years to come? Our roof is very old and the tiles are disintegrating… and it is a home for many possums so would need to have it assessed. Anyhow! Thank you for the encouragement to prepare in place and the continual nudge to build community and learn to garden.
They’re the wonderful things I am trying to move towards this year and ease the anguish of an unknown future - regardless of what happens - these are steps that enrich our lives deeply.
Always good to read your work Alan. You’re one of the first collapse bloggers I read on Substack and I like your approach. I think you’re right in your analysis and don’t have much to add. I also write Substack postings on ‘a calm presence’ once in a while hoping it resonates and helps folks along the way others help me. We’re going through a massive transformation where the only outcome is a completely, unimaginable way of being in harmony with the earth, which I think is worth fighting for. Not wanting to live in the modern world is just the start. Keep writing and keep your spirits up my friend.
I used to think (a few decades ago) that modern technological civilization had about a century to go unless there was serious change. Several years back, I cut that to fifty years. Now, I'm thinking a decade or two. My thinking is quite similar to yours. There's really nowhere to run and if we did, disasters both human and natural would likely find us. Mad Max sounds like fun until you're living it.
We also won't leave this area (SW MO) because both of our kids and their families live here. We won't leave them behind. We're stockpiling nonperishables and hoping for the best. As senior citizens, we feel relatively defenseless if things get really bad before we pass. We're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, which is all any of us can do.
We’re all trying to navigate this, the perfect storm. There is no former playbook for this predicament we find ourselves in. I’m not concerned for my future; it’s that of the youth, I grieve for. https://kevinhester.live/2017/01/20/the-coming-tsunami-of-grief/
Sorry to hear about your divorce. However, many of the assumptions against renewables by some of the leading 'Doomers' are just plain wrong. Peak oil and whatever are not going to wipe out civilisation. A nuclear war, maybe? But with renewable energy made from renewable recyclable materials - technology isn't going anywhere. Those critical minerals you're worried about? They haven't left the planet. They are not even that necessary. There are super-abundant and plainer substitutes for almost every one of them - even copper!
If the seaweed protein powder or PF powder takes off - we might be able to end livestock grazing which ruins about 34% of the habitable land on earth but only gives us a small fraction of our protein. If we can return that land to nature - it's billions of hectares of grazing land going back to natural habitat. It could stop species extinctions and potentially sequester “332–547 Gt CO2”. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41893-020-00603-4
I find myself on a shockingly similar trajectory, just a couple years behind - even down to the cherry-on-top breakup. I reckon I’m going thru the five stages of grief, trying to make it to acceptance. I used that as a framing to blog about it, too.
More than the billions fiirst migrating and then dying as we erect walls to keep them out and the death of the natural world, it’s the sheer irrational insanity of people’s non-response that gets to me. I did recently make some progress on that mindblowing exasperation, tho: as psychology is one of my interests, I’m fairly familiar with the mechanisms that lead to this reaction. As such, I could ask myself: what was I expecting? It’s predictable. Sketch me a scene between a type of person and I can predict exactly why and how they won’t react rationally and with courage. So why be so aggrevated, I tell myself. I mean, apart from the sheer incoming horror of a hellscape.
I do have two advices:
1) Be careful not to catasthrophise, ie. pessimistically believe the worst outcome on the probability curve is going to happen. We and our children may get to hang on for quite a few decades yet, and things may well collapse slower than your guesses.
2) One should apply the same attitude as anyone ever should: be grateful for what one has. You rode the peak of human civilasation, enjoying blissfully ignorant and peaceful years up until about 2016, and continue to enjoy many things kings of yesteryear could only dream of.
Everyone knows life will end. Does it really matter how? Think of the billions of dead serfs and slaves and peasants and pestilence sufferes and children who didn’t even make it till age 5, young couples and draemers whose lives were cut short by brutal circumstances. If you can’t live for yourself, live for them. Live for those who couldn’t, those who would have given both arms to have your life. Live for your children. I try to ask myself: who am I being, that my children’s eyes aren’t shining? (Benjamin Zander quote)
“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus.” - Charles Bukowski
Writing is therapeutic. Glad to see you back, despite the heavy topic. Best wishes.
I don't normally do this but, “We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.”
― Charles Bukowski
Yes Bukowski, thanks. Correcting it.
We're pretty similar. I managed to avoid the divorce, but she still doesn't like to talk about the state of the world. I've mostly made it to the acceptance stage, but I occasionally bounce back into depression. I basically never go back to denial and anger anymore. Nothing really surprises me now.
I would still like to prepare for... what, exactly? When I think about what "sustainability" actually means, I keep coming back to the thought that the last time that humans were truly sustainable was during the couple hundred thousand years of hunting and gathering. I would certainly love to be in that situation now, but it's not like I can just go out and live that way for reasons we all understand. But, I figure it's the only way humanity will be able to live in centuries to come, so... is that what I should prepare for? The transition into that? That's all that I can figure.
So, to continue to stave off divorce and the inevitable custody loss, I've been limiting my "prepping" to just collecting books. Indigenous wisdom books, anthropology books on ancient (and current non-modern) peoples, and lots of basic how-to books that cover what folks did to survive before electricity and global supply chains. My wife values education, so acquiring books is always justifiable.
Good to hear from you again, Alan.
What if you also added prepping people to the menu. I don't mean info-dumping all the knowledge you've acquired, but by building them up, strengthening them, finding ways to bond tighter, getting them out of their shell and out into nature.
We have to build a house that is strong, out of good materials that will last for generations.
I think building a tribe is necessary and extremely important. Definitely on the to-do list. Although, I think I would probably avoid the wording of "adding people to the menu." 😂
I'm pretty much in the same situation. My wife only wants to hear occasional news and tolerates my storing up nonperishable food and necessary hardcopy books. I've long accepted (about 25 years now) that unless something drastic happens, Humanity is going to slide way back on the civilizational scale, maybe to extinction. I do what I can, but it feels like a drop in the ocean. That's one reason I've been talking to a therapist (I've had treatment resistant depression walk my life).
Thanks Alan, it is comforting knowing there are others who feel the weight of this knowledge and also understand it can be harmful to continue to consume more information about it (once you truly understand, you k.n.o.w.).
I went through my separation in 2017 as I was becoming anti-capitalist and abolitionist. I became collapse aware the first year of the pandemic, I spent most of it reading. Amongst the wreckage I've found peace minimizing my life as much as possible (my favourite pastime is Swedish Death Cleaning, lol), and immense satisfaction in simplicity. A couple of my friends and I often talk about an off-grid feminist commune (I'd go today, but others are less prepared to leave their current lives quite yet).
Thanks for sharing.
“There’s nothing we can do, so why even talk about it?”
This is a big reason why I write about it. It's such a difficult thing to talk about, but there are many like us who wish we could. I think creating an online space helps. It certainly has helped me.
I could tell an almost identical story. I think i've reached the acceptance stage though, and whatever happens happens. The only thing we can really control is how we look after ourselves and those that we love. Any further connections and planning for resilience you can make beyond that are a bonus that will pay off to some degree no matter what happens. Keep writing about it. It's meaningful to bear witness.
I'm guessing that there is another step beyond "acceptance " ... as folk wisdom has it with phrases like "that's water under the bridge ". I haven't hit that stage yet though, and I am quite a bit older, and developed some awareness of the state of the earth and the trends you comment on, starting just a bit earlier ...
Around 1999 when I was flying around the united states doing computer work around the Y2K "issue", that wasn't really a big issue (except for protecting profits of large corporations).
That's when I realized how utterly useless most executives would be in a real crisis, and that most governments would be as bad or worse.
So what we can do now is bear witness and preserve what knowledge we can.
I think that will have to be in physical books, not internet only texts. I expect most of the net will be inaccessible to commoners like me rather soon... censored or paywalled or both. I am thinking that Print on Demand books might be a way to record these times, while widespread literacy in written English still exists as a common language. It's probably important to the younger generations to have something to put some context to the harsh world they will inherit.
Used book stores are your best friend for buying up the necessary books.
This was therapeutic. Thank you.
I'm in the same space, and although the article didn't bring us together in a meaningful sense, I felt less alone reading it.
Of the little time I have each week for changing the world, I try to strengthen my existent bonds, I try to expand my Dunbar number. I try to push change with people who can make it. It's a strange time that we are entering, we have to take as much love and compassion for people with us as we go.
Grateful to have you back. I've been following your work for some time and wondered why you stopped writing. Now we all have a better idea. You speak for many of us.
Thank you. This is a wonderful piece that shares the despair and angst many of us have lived quietly with for decades. Fifty years ago as a graduate student in Forestry and Environmental Studies, I heard my first lecture on greenhouse gases and climate change. My fellow grad students and I realized after that lecture that the handwriting was on the wall (in indelible ink).
What have I learned in the years since? First: We have choices. We can choose to give in, give up or give it all we’ve got. Second: The current polycrisis is not a problem any of us can individually or collectively control or solve. We are in a predicament that requires an alternate path. Third: Technology innovation adds complexity to an already overburdened Global Operating System. Added complexity hastens collapse. My preference is to stop buying into the narrative that modernity can be salvaged and instead to return to a much simpler “small is beautiful” solution. Don’t think of undersea, deep terrestrial, or off-planet settlements powered by nuclear reactors. Think instead of Sturbridge Village, Massachusetts in the early 1800s, with a few minor tweaks in basic operating principles, borne out by the experiences of the last 200 years. Fourth: And by all means, realize that humility and compassion are not weak human traits. In fact, they just might be our most valuable asset if we choose to “give it all we’ve got.”
You aptly call it the age of collapse. It reminds me of a great quote from William Catton’s Overshoot which I’m currently reading.
“No previous generation of Americans had to cope with cumulative effects of their own and their ancestors’ thefts from the future, as ours must.”
For this I coined the term “Doomennials.” Those born in time to witness what Nate Hagens calls “The Great Simplification.”
For what it’s worth, you’re not alone in your anxiety and fear of the mess we’ve all played at least a small part in making.
Thank you for your honest words. As a writer, I fully understand how the overload can become too much. We sink so deeply into the meaning of every word we connect together. It's a big reason why I've chosen a reflective writing style, too. Writing about the state of the world is taxing. Often the reader doesn't recognise how profoundly we have felt each letter.
I've come from a different place to you but reached a similar unconsoloble confusion about people's indifference. My cathartic moment was a climate-driven wildfire that swept through my community, destroying our homes and farms; everything we had and everything we were. The shock of that reality was bone deep. It took me a number of years to pull out from it. I wrote about the process (before I had Substack). After the initial sympathy from readers (which I never sought nor wanted) there was deafening silence. No-one wanted the change, anything.
So, I stepped away from writing for awhile, and focused on what I could do in the actual world. What I could change. What was possible where I was and with who was around me. We thought about moving somewhere even more isolated, but came to belief we have to prepare in place. We know this space, it's seasons, and it's threats. That's empowerment. That log cabin we all dream of (especially introverted writers) is too isolated, unless you are already there and know it well. Survival is not a solo game. You need a network of people willing to share knowledge and resource. Doing everything alone is a tough, tough life.
My husband I are already 100% offgrid. I already grow the lion share of our household fruit and vegetable needs, and I am stretching into grains. We make do and mend as par for the course. My husband has deep mechanical know-how. But we both know, even with those assets, we can not tough out the future alone. So, we are building the community we need, in place, across neighbouring farms, recognising the skill-set in each and the gaps we have to fill. Sharing, sharing, and more sharing.
Yet, I am often struck by how difficult our project is over the distance between us (my nearest neighbour us 8km/5 miles) away, and how much easier it would be to do the same in a 'suburban' setting, where the skill density is so much greater and the distance between everyone can be walked, with ease.
So now, my message in my writing, for what it's worth, is for people to look to where they are and see if there are possibilities they haven't thought of before. To build their buffer in place, with the people already there. They don't even need to mention collapse to people ... 'community building' is often enough of an explanation to get people on board.
The kids alive now will need their adults to be skilled and wise.
Anyway, it's good to have you back!
Thank you for this wise and guidance filled comment, Margi…
I am very collapse aware, my husband is aware that I’m collapse aware, ha! He is onboard with supporting my perspective, but won’t lead us through this.
We have two young children and are considering how/where we want to weather the changes, the ‘simplification’ to come… the urge to run, to prep… it’s huge!
But your perspective here fills me with a sense of confidence that we have landed exactly where we need to be. Suburban. Half acre plot of land. Wonderful potential for rich community… I mostly just worry about access to water.
Anyway. Just responding to say thank you to you and all the other writers’ energy and time spent being reflective so that those who wish to can feel some sensible leadership and direction through what is to come.
I am glad it helps, Tessa. I am always relieved to hear someone sees the potential in where they are. You've made my day.
There are tonnes of ways to collect and store water, and you're roof is your friend. Across a suburban setting the potential is huge. The 'authorities' will want to limit you with all sorts of scare mongering about contamination. The fear is just another way to keep you connected to the grid and paying for your viral needs. There are ways around it, and its all online. Just remember, people have been living for hundreds of thousands of years on collected water, and they've been reusing that water to grow food for just as long.
I think connecting on these issues, being guided by those a few steps, or a bit of a hike ahead, is what we all need.
Looking into the roof and a rain water tank is on the list…. I worry if there will even be enough rainfall in years to come? Our roof is very old and the tiles are disintegrating… and it is a home for many possums so would need to have it assessed. Anyhow! Thank you for the encouragement to prepare in place and the continual nudge to build community and learn to garden.
They’re the wonderful things I am trying to move towards this year and ease the anguish of an unknown future - regardless of what happens - these are steps that enrich our lives deeply.
* you're = your and viral = vital.
Less haste, more speed, and turning off my phone's autocorrect!
Always good to read your work Alan. You’re one of the first collapse bloggers I read on Substack and I like your approach. I think you’re right in your analysis and don’t have much to add. I also write Substack postings on ‘a calm presence’ once in a while hoping it resonates and helps folks along the way others help me. We’re going through a massive transformation where the only outcome is a completely, unimaginable way of being in harmony with the earth, which I think is worth fighting for. Not wanting to live in the modern world is just the start. Keep writing and keep your spirits up my friend.
I used to think (a few decades ago) that modern technological civilization had about a century to go unless there was serious change. Several years back, I cut that to fifty years. Now, I'm thinking a decade or two. My thinking is quite similar to yours. There's really nowhere to run and if we did, disasters both human and natural would likely find us. Mad Max sounds like fun until you're living it.
We also won't leave this area (SW MO) because both of our kids and their families live here. We won't leave them behind. We're stockpiling nonperishables and hoping for the best. As senior citizens, we feel relatively defenseless if things get really bad before we pass. We're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst, which is all any of us can do.
We’re all trying to navigate this, the perfect storm. There is no former playbook for this predicament we find ourselves in. I’m not concerned for my future; it’s that of the youth, I grieve for. https://kevinhester.live/2017/01/20/the-coming-tsunami-of-grief/
You are far from alone. There are too many. It's a can of worms. Cheer up. Have some fun before the fat lady sings her aria.
Sorry to hear about your divorce. However, many of the assumptions against renewables by some of the leading 'Doomers' are just plain wrong. Peak oil and whatever are not going to wipe out civilisation. A nuclear war, maybe? But with renewable energy made from renewable recyclable materials - technology isn't going anywhere. Those critical minerals you're worried about? They haven't left the planet. They are not even that necessary. There are super-abundant and plainer substitutes for almost every one of them - even copper!
https://eclipsenow.wordpress.com/materials/
And there's new food tech that can bypass vast swathes of traditional agriculture.
https://eclipsenow.wordpress.com/food/
If the seaweed protein powder or PF powder takes off - we might be able to end livestock grazing which ruins about 34% of the habitable land on earth but only gives us a small fraction of our protein. If we can return that land to nature - it's billions of hectares of grazing land going back to natural habitat. It could stop species extinctions and potentially sequester “332–547 Gt CO2”. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41893-020-00603-4